


one two four

by kokiri



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - College/University, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Roommates, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-24
Updated: 2016-09-04
Packaged: 2018-07-26 13:31:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7575814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kokiri/pseuds/kokiri
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>in which the exorbitant cost of living of the modern world means soonyoung and wonwoo have to get another roommate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Operation IAHAFHS

**Author's Note:**

> i needed to write something relatively low stress. there will be multiple installments. :^)

At exactly 4:37 PM, Wonwoo assesses the situation and deems it clear for passage: he is going to step out of his fiery inferno of a bedroom, quietly walk down the hallway, and he is going to turn on the air conditioning.

Soonyoung has gone through all of the steps of his regular pre-afternoon nap ritual: returning from work, dropping his bag on the floor, perusing through the fridge one, two, three times and finally retreating to his bedroom. Once Wonwoo can hear the muffled sound of whatever anime Soonyoung is currently watching, he knows that this means Soonyoung has settled down – meaning, this is the only window of opportunity for Wonwoo to even remotely even consider turning on the air.

He opens the door. Soonyoung’s phone rings – god dammit, this is not a part of the plan. Wonwoo freezes.

“No, I’m not going to take your shift. Tomorrow is my only day off this week, I don’t care if it’s your birthday. Yeah, whatever. Bye.”

Wonwoo becomes emotionally compromised when he realizes just how foul Soonyoung’s job makes him feel at the end of the day – and Soonyoung is not the type of person who can handle feeling foul for very long, or at all, really. Should he go knock on Soonyoung’s door and offer some comforting words or resume Operation IAHAFHS (I Am Having A Fucking Heat Stroke)?

He is approximately five feet away from the thermostat. But he is also approximately four feet away from Soonyoung’s room. There has to be a solution that will quell both Wonwoo’s current physical and emotional distress.

But Wonwoo is weak. He is weak and cruel and slightly stupid. He dashes with a carelessly heavy step over to the thermostat – and in his haste, he has given himself away.

Soonyoung’s bedroom door opens slowly.

“Wonwoo.”

“Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat!”

“Wonwoo, what exactly do you think you’re doing right now.”

“I’m turning the air on! Because it’s five hundred fucking degrees in here!”

“Need I remind you,” Soonyoung says, “of the conversation that we had just literally this morning? If we aren’t going to find another roommate we cannot do anything that costs money for the rest of our lives! That includes turning on the air!”

“Okay, _Mom_ , but need I remind _you_ that I didn’t exactly agree to this at all?” Wonwoo shoots back. Truth is, it had originally sounded pretty good in theory. Wonwoo isn’t exactly dying to assimilate into a life with another Not Soonyoung Human again after just how difficult it was to share a living space with Jihoon – and if Wonwoo couldn’t even live with Jihoon, someone he has known for years and furthermore, someone he cares about deeply –  how the fuck is he going to live with some rando?

“I thought this was going to make you happy,” Soonyoung says. “I thought you would want it to be just the two of us—oh my _fucking shit_ Wonwoo get your hand the _fuck_ away from that dial so help me God—”

“Soonyoung! I can’t live like this anymore. Your job stresses you out and makes you mean, and now it’s hot and you’re a million times meaner! I miss the Soonyoung who would never talk to me like this!”

“Wonwoo…” Soonyoung says quietly, walking with great conviction to where Wonwoo stands at the precipice of ruining their entire friendship with one tiny touch of the thermostat dial, “that Soonyoung… IS DEAD!”

“NOOOOOOO!” Wonwoo screams. With one hand he holds Soonyoung at arm’s length literally by the face and with the other he turns the air down to seventy-four. Then he prepares for death.

Soonyoung gives up without much of a fight. “We need a third roommate, Wonwoo,” he says, walking straight into Wonwoo, pushing him to the ground, falling elbows first onto his chest and making himself comfortable amidst Wonwoo’s pained protests.

“We do,” Wonwoo says after he catches his breath and acclimates to the feeling of Soonyoung’s weight against him. “The exorbitant cost of living of the modern world means we have to get another roommate. It’s life.”

“It’s life,” Soonyoung repeats.

Wonwoo pats Soonyoung’s head. “This too shall pass.”

“I don’t want to admit to myself that I’m at a point in my life where this shithole of an apartment is somehow outside of our means. I don’t want to be here, Wonwoo.”

“I don’t either.”

“But we’re here.”

“We are here, but it’s fine. Let’s just try and enjoy ourselves, okay? Now let me up. I’m going to post an ad for a roommate.”

Soonyoung whines and rolls onto the floor. “We need someone quiet, and neat, and who has no friends.”

“That was basically Jihoon and look at how well that turned out,” Wonwoo says. He stands up and Soonyoung stares at him pathetically from the floor. “Soonyoung, it’s _fine_. I don’t know why you’re the one who’s being particularly weird? Is something wrong? Why are you being like this, for real?”

“Becausehrrrmrrrrgggphhh.”

“Because? Hrrrmmmmgggphh?”

“Because I like it whhhhrmmmmmrmmmm.”

“Because? You? Like—oh my God.”

“Shut up!” Soonyoung hides his face in his hands.

“You like it when it’s just the two of us! You like me! I’m your best friend! Just admit it right now!”

“No! I can’t face the truth! How can I live with the shame?” Soonyoung laments, resting his hand upon his brow and falling backwards dramatically. “Loving a scoundrel such as you… my parents will surely take me out of their will! I’ll lose my inheritance!”

“Scoundrel,” Wonwoo snorts. “Well, look, this scoundrel is going to find us a roommate, and we’re going to be happy, and we’re going to be able to turn on the air sometimes. Some of my good karma is going to finally come back around and we’re going to have a totally agreeable, completely reasonable roommate. And it’ll be all thanks to me!”

“Right,” Soonyoung says. “Well. Use your best judgment.”

“All of my judgment is my best judgment,” Wonwoo says. Soonyoung attempts to kick his feet out from under him. Wonwoo hops over him and stumbles into his room. “Just you wait, Soonyoung!” he laughs. He turns back to give Soonyoung one last glance, his heart melting just a little when he sees that for the first time in God knows how long, Soonyoung is actually smiling.

 

 

 

 

“Uh, yeah, my name is Mingyu. I’m calling in response to your ad looking for a roommate? I kind of need a place to stay, like, immediately… I can pay whatever. Is that cool?”

“Wh— huh?” Wonwoo stammers. “Yeah? Wait, I don’t even know you. Mingyu? Are you a student?” he asks.

“Yeah.”

“You have a job?”

“Yes.”

“Do you—”

“Come on, guy, don’t play around. Your ad was completely reeking of desperation. I could see it in your uptight use of the Oxford comma. You totally need another roommate or you’re gonna get evicted, I need a place to stay or I’m going to be homeless – I think this arrangement works out for all parties. Thing is, I need to know right now if this is going to happen.”

Wonwoo is actually pretty bad at making judgment calls. Soonyoung isn’t even there to gauge the situation – is this guy a creepy murderer? Is this guy a creepy murderer who will at least pay rent on time? Wonwoo weighs the pros and cons. Pro – they get to stay in their shitty yet comfortable apartment. Con – they die. Another pro – if they’re dead they won’t have to worry about graduating college or paying rent anymore?

“Okay. Two things. Listen here. There is nothing uptight about the Oxford comma. It is a valid grammatical convention and I don’t give a shit what you think about it. And then the other thing. Be here in exactly an hour and we will have an informal interview—”

“An _interview_ , guy, are you serious?”

“Yes, an interview, and then I will decide if you can live with us. I’ll text you the address. Bye.”

There are three evident and undeniable truths: this guy is definitely an enormous asshole, this guy clearly has money, and this guy is probably going to make their lives a living hell.

And furthermore, how fucking dare he make Wonwoo feel like he’s being unreasonable for wanting to conduct a simple informal interview (and thorough background check) on someone he is going to let into their home. What kind of an entitled, self-absorbed fucking—

Oh shit. Where is Soonyoung?

Wonwoo anxiously checks his phone. What if Soonyoung isn’t going to make it home on time? What if he has to take an extra shift? Or what if he just subconsciously, telepathically knows that Wonwoo is in the throes of despair and needs him to come home immediately and is intentionally doing the opposite of that?

He dawdles around the apartment for a while, straightening up this and making that look presentable, checking his phone every now and again for some sign of life from Soonyoung. But what does it even matter, Wonwoo already pretty much has his mind made up about not wanting to live with this guy.

But it’s not about what Wonwoo wants, is it? It’s about being realistic, pragmatic, and mature. It’s about not starving and dying. It’s most importantly about Soonyoung not starving and dying! And Soonyoung not worrying about money, and Soonyoung being in a good mood again!

It’s about a quarter till when Wonwoo hears the jingle of Soonyoung’s keychain just outside the door. “Hey Wonwoo, I—”

“Sooooooonyoung,” Wonwoo whines before Soonyoung can even fully set foot in the apartment. He collapses dramatically on the couch. “I had a really awful social interaction and it’s left me in a weakened state! You’ll interview this guy that wants to live with us, yeah?”

“Me, by myself?” Soonyoung asks, dropping his bag on the floor and walking towards the kitchen – which means that he is absolutely going through his pre-afternoon nap routine. Hell no. Wonwoo cannot let this happen. He cannot do this alone. Or at all, actually.

“Yes, you, by yourself,” he says calmly, making the request sound a lot less silly than it really is.

Soonyoung whips his entire body around at the speed of light. He points an accusatory finger at Wonwoo. “Fuck _no_ , Wonwoo. Fuck. No. You aren’t gonna get me this time, understand? Look, I’m sorry that you are so unaccustomed to dealing with unpleasantness—”

“OH, okay, I see, you can’t do this ONE thing for me—”

“One thing?! As if I don’t literally wait on you every fucking hand and foot, Wonwoo?! As if my entire adult life has not completely revolved around what is going to keep _your_ delicate sensibilitiesAAARGH! OKAY, OKAY, I’ll fucking do it! Just please stop looking at me like that.”

“Like what!”

“Like—” Soonyoung contorts his features into an ugly crying face. “Like that! Like you’re going to just die if I don’t do what you want.”

Wonwoo huffs and crosses his arms. “I totally do not look like that, ever,” he says, even though he knows that he totally does—but it doesn’t matter, it is not the time nor the place to let Soonyoung know he is right about anything. And that he is usually right about most things at that. 

There is a knock on the door. Wonwoo looks at the door and then back at Soonyoung.

“THERE IT IS AGAIN! THE LOOK,” Soonyoung whisper-screams, looking through the peephole. “Oh, fuck.”

“What?!”

“He’s…” Soonyoung makes some elaborate hand gesture that Wonwoo doesn’t understand. He opens the door before Wonwoo can make his grand escape into his bedroom and pretend like he doesn’t exist.

There is a boy, and he is very tall, and he is holding an envelope full of cash, which he immediately shoves into Soonyoung’s hands. “Okay, so?” he says.

“Okay, so. Okay,” Soonyoung says, spontaneously losing about ninety-five percent of his social skills. “Name?”

“Ohhh, so you must not be guy. My name is Mingyu.” He turns to Wonwoo and looks at him like someone just told him a real fucking knee-slapper.  “Guy?”

“Yes. Guy. Wonwoo.”

“Wonwoo,” Mingyu repeats.

“And that’s Soonyoung.”

“Okay, so, my roommate is an exchange student who has had a family emergency so terrible that he has to break our lease immediately, but the thing is I wasn’t technically supposed to live there in the first place, so. I don’t have anywhere to stay. I’m a student, I have a job, I have a lot of money with me right now. Honestly I’ll probably never even be here? I just need a place close to campus where I can sleep occasionally.”

“Okay,” Soonyoung grumbles shyly.

“Okay?!” Wonwoo interjects. “Just like that?!”

“Okay!” Mingyu says, patting Soonyoung on the shoulder. He makes finger guns at Wonwoo and shoots him twice. “I’ll be back later. Bye, Soonyoung. See ya, guy!”

He leaves just as quickly as he arrived. Soonyoung turns to Wonwoo and gives him a look of utter horror.

“What the fuck, Soonyoung?” Wonwoo asks, gesturing wildly at the empty space Mingyu left behind. “What the fuck was that?” 

“I don’t know,” Soonyoung whispers, staring at the envelope of cash. “He was handsome… and there’s so much money! In this envelope right now! There is so much money in my unworthy hands! He’s not just a roommate… he is our savior…”

“This is really happening,” Wonwoo says. “Like, this is really happening right in front my eyes. Any garbage person with a fistful of cash can just stroll right into our happy home and exhibit absolute control over you! You are such a slave to the competitive capitalist machine.”

“Money,” Soonyoung sighs dreamily. “Money, money, money. Wonwoo! We should celebrate.”

“Weed,” Wonwoo says before Soonyoung can even finish his sentence.

“Yes! I will text Jeonghan. But more importantly, this!” Soonyoung bolts over to Wonwoo, grabs his hand and drags him over to the thermostat. With a flourish, Soonyoung pushes the dial down to the seventy-two. He grabs Wonwoo’s face and kisses him on both cheeks, pirouettes into his room, and comfortably settles in for an afternoon nap that is for once not brought on by an intense need to escape the agony of his daily life.

Meanwhile, Wonwoo’s phone is buzzing from rude and slightly invasive texts from Mingyu, Lord and Savior. He comes dangerously close to smashing his phone in his hand, but he just reminds himself with every passing second that he is forced to endure this misery – he can handle literally anything if it’s for Soonyoung’s sake.


	2. one to ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this fanfiction is actually about soonwoo getting apocalyptically stressed out over food and being in public and existing.

“What do you want?”

“Hello to you, too! How are you, Soonyoung? Oh, I’m fine Wonwoo, and also I’m literally in love with you, and so sorry that I’m so, so mean! Thank you very much for the hope and joy you’ve given me during my time of overwhelming despair!”

“Okay, I get it, I’m sorry. Hello, Wonwoo. Is there any particular reason you are calling me right now?”

“Well,” Wonwoo says. He stops in front of a coffee shop. Then he remembers that he hates coffee. So he ventures forth. He is so restless he can’t stand it. “Class was cancelled. I have nothing to do and I’m really bored! I didn’t know if you were working or not, so I thought I would see if my best friend in the whole entire world wanted to have lunch?”

“Uhh…” Soonyoung says. “Yeah, actually. Okay. But can we get something and take it home? I just want to nest.”

“Sure, but isn’t Mingyu moving the rest of his shit in today? That’s going to be really annoying to deal with, yeah?”

“I’m sure he’s done by now. Hey, why don’t you pick up my regular poke bowl order and then meet me back at the apartment? I’ll pay you back.”

“Ahhh…” Wonwoo groans. “Fine. But you know how much constructing poke bowls stresses me out. So you owe me triple.”

“I’ll see you in a few minutes,” Soonyoung says. “I love you, I love you, I love y—”

Wonwoo ends the call. He circles back around the block to their favorite poke bowl place and takes a deep breath. This is it for him. This is literally the end of his life forever. Even if he has the ingredients to Soonyoung’s preferred poke bowl right in front of his fucking face, he is, without fail, so destructively anxious from the aggressively fast pace of the line that he always forgets something and only realizes when it’s too late to do anything about it.

Three tuna. Two salmon. Or is it two salmon and three tuna? Wonwoo has no idea anymore. His survival instincts are telling him to collapse in the middle the restaurant and play dead until someone drags his body out and leaves him in a gutter somewhere, but his love for Soonyoung tells him that he’d better fucking get this bowl and he’d better fucking do it right.

Does Soonyoung like avocado or not? Why is it that in moments of panic, the first of Wonwoo’s admittedly few skill sets to go just happens to be his encyclopedic knowledge of Soonyoung’s likes and dislikes?

No, Soonyoung doesn’t like avocado anymore. He used to like it, but he got sick off of it, and now he’s over it for a while. That’s one of his things. So no avocado on this bowl. After nearly crying from the stress of trying to proportion the proteins correctly in Soonyoung’s bowl, Wonwoo finally manages to order one for himself, something that Soonyoung always teases him for because all he can eat is tofu and rice and vegetables. But it’s the shared experience of having their poke bowls together, Wonwoo always says, and anyway he likes eating stale air and cardboard. The cashier is _just_ rude enough to destroy the remainder of Wonwoo’s self-confidence – perfect, just the way Wonwoo likes to be treated by strangers. Defeated and starving, he drags himself through the fifteen-minute walk back to the apartment.

Wonwoo digs his key out of his pocket but before he can even turn the lock, the door opens. There is a very pretty girl wearing a big black hat in his apartment and she is staring at him with these impossibly wide doe eyes. What the fuuuuuck.

“You look like a witch,” Wonwoo says.

“Hmm, I think most people would start with, ‘What are you doing in my apartment?’ but I am assuming you’re Wonwoo? Since Mingyu said you say weird shit.”

“Weird is hardly the word I would use. But yes, I’m Wonwoo.”  

“My name is Tzuyu. I’m Mingyu’s… friend? I’m sorry if I startled you, I actually thought you were him. Aaand…” Tzuyu takes several steps back and graciously grants Wonwoo entrance to his own home. “I’m sorry for intruding. I’ve been helping Mingyu move his things and he left me here by myself.”

“Oh. Well, don’t worry about it,” Wonwoo says. Though he is a bit concerned that there is a witch in his apartment and he is alone and defenseless, she seems harmless enough in her current state. He drops his and Soonyoung’s lunch down on the coffee table and offers Tzuyu a seat next to him in the couch. She accepts his offer – much to his surprise, as there’s something a little prickly about her.

“I think you were in one of my classes last semester,” she says, grabbing Wonwoo by the face and examining him closely. “Yeah. Diversity in Children’s Literature. You were always sitting in the back, in the seat that I wanted. So I spent most of this semester hating you.”

“And you’ve been casting curses on me which would explain my phenomenally terrible life,” Wonwoo guesses.

“No, I would just tell Mingyu, ‘I really wish that I could sit in the very back corner of my Diversity in Children’s Literature class, but there’s always this skinny fuck there who I’m pretty sure literally dies every single day and then reanimates once class is dismissed!’ Isn’t that funny? Small world, huh?”

Tzuyu finally releases Wonwoo’s face from her vice grip. She smiles at him.

She has exactly one dimple. Wonwoo feels sick – or maybe sick isn’t the right word. But he feels something. Maybe this is what happens when you meet a new person, and they are friendly, and you think you might actually be able to like them. 

Tzuyu raises her eyebrows expectantly, probably too polite to say anything about the fact that Wonwoo has been staring at her dumbly for a full minute.

“So, uh… you’re Mingyu’s girlfriend?”

“No,” she says, turning away from Wonwoo and propping her feet up on the coffee table. She seems to be pretty thoroughly over hearing that one. “I said I’m Mingyu’s friend. Uh-oooh! Sounds like someone’s already got it bad for Mingyu, huuuh,” Tzuyu croons, ruffling Wonwoo’s hair.

“That’s! Not even anywhere close to being true. I’ve talked to him, like, two times since he moved in. I don’t even think he is fully aware I actually exist? Anyway, who are you? Why are you in my apartment? If you plan on spending a lot of time here, then you’re gonna have to assume some rent responsibility, you know!”

Tzuyu stares at Wonwoo wide-eyed in disbelieving silence before she doubles over laughing. “Ohhh my God,” she sighs. “Haha! You’re funny! Not even in a weird way. Just a funny way! But hey, what’s the other one like? Soonyeon?”

“Soon _young_ is nice and possibly too good for this world. But lately he doesn’t feel very well, because he hates his job and his whole entire life. So if Mingyu gives him a hard time, then… Mingyu is probably gonna have to die? Sorry.”

Tzuyu’s purses her lips into a perfect “v” shaped smile. “I see!” she says, clasping her hands together. “Mingyu’s not going to give him a hard time. Look, I know he doesn’t give off the best first impression, or second impression… but you have to give him a chance. Or several chances. I promise you’ll warm up to him. He’s nice. And he listens.” 

“Did he leave you here just to talk him up?” Wonwoo asks suspiciously.

Tzuyu shrugs and inspects her nails, dismissing Wonwoo’s inability to fully trust the intentions of Mingyu or anyone even vaguely associated with him with a quiet hum. The ever-familiar jingling of Soonyoung’s keychain offers a much needed break from talking about nothing but the new roommate Wonwoo still isn’t entirely sure he can stand.

“Wonwoo, Wonwoo, Wonwoo,” Soonyoung sings. “And? A person I’ve never seen before. Hi! I’m Soonyoung. Are you Mingyu’s girlfriend?”

Tzuyu deflates a little. “No, just his friend! My name is Tzuyu. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you, too!” Soonyoung happily plops to the floor in front of the coffee table and pulls his poke bowl out of the bag. “Okay, everything looks good so far,” he says quietly. He pops off the plastic lid and inspects the contents. “Proteins, perfect. No cucumber, perfect. And – oh… Wonwoo…” Soonyoung looks up at Wonwoo with such deep, profound sadness that Wonwoo is sure the both of them are about to start weeping. “You didn’t get… avocado…”

“No!” Wonwoo cries, sliding off the couch like a ragdoll and crawling over to where Soonyoung sits. “No, you don’t like avocados right now! Remember? You ate the avocado toast and then you got really, really drunk and threw it up! And you said right to my face that you hated avocado.”

“Yeah, but I got over that, like, two weeks ago. I told you. I asked for avocado toast and you got it for me.”

“Nooooo,” Wonwoo groans, slowly rolling his spine down against the floor until he is flat on his back. “I’m sorry, Soonyoung! I ruined your perfect bowl!”

Tzuyu cranes her neck to look over the coffee table, long waves of chestnut hair framing her face in a way that makes Wonwoo think that maybe she is a forest princess instead of a witch. “You guys are…” she says, trailing off. What is she going to say that they haven’t heard a million times before? Pathetic? Emotionally dependent on one another to a debilitating extent? Parasitically attached at the hip? Very, very in denial of their true feelings for each other?

“Cute!” she concludes with a warm smile. She can’t possibly mean that.

“When,” Soonyoung says, “did we get like this, Wonwoo? When did missing avocado from a poke bowl become enough to send us into a panic spiral?”

“I know that’s sort of a joke, but I have an idea. Anyway, that doesn’t matter. Let’s resume our veneer of normalcy for Mingyu’s esteemed ladyfriend.”

“Hey, shut up, will you?” Tzuyu asks. She picks a piece of salmon out of Soonyoung’s bowl and pops it into her mouth. “Oh,” she says. “It’s Mingyu.”

Wonwoo sits up and looks around nervously. He hadn’t heard anything at all – but he gets that. Even without hearing Soonyoung’s keys, he always just knows when Soonyoung is home before he even opens the door. He thinks about the ways in which he could possibly get off to a good start with Mingyu today. Maybe “Hey, Mingyu, how’s it going?” or “Hey, Mingyu, do you need help moving anything else?” would work. But on second thought, no.

From outside they hear things like, “For fuuuck’s sake” and “God dammit” and with labored effort, Mingyu finally manages to open the door despite the fact that his hands are full. “Ohhh, Tzuyu, I’m so sorry,” he says out from behind the three boxes he is carrying. “I didn’t mean to make you have to sit in here and pretend that you can actually tolerate Wonwoo’s company.”

“AH,” Wonwoo yells. “Ha! HAHA! Aren’t you fucking hilarious.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Mingyu says, already tuned out of their conversation. Tzuyu carefully takes the top box in her arms and shuffles off to Mingyu’s room. She chatters on about nothing in particular while Mingyu follows behind her, getting about one word in for every thirty from Tzuyu. 

“She’s nice,” Soonyoung comments lightly. “Wonwoo? Hey, earth to Wonwoo, I’m talking to you?”

“Huh…” Wonwoo sighs.

“It’s not that bad. Mingyu, I mean.”

“I know.”

“And guess what?  My bowl tastes fine without avocado. You did it, Wonwoo! You almost did the thing. Which, in Wonwoo World, is just as good as actually doing the thing.”

“Soonyoung, you're not yourself lately,” Wonwoo says, as if he is telling Soonyoung some terrible secret that he has never shared with another person before. He presses his hands together and looks at Soonyoung thoughtfully. “You have to understand. You just seem so sad. It makes me want to personally make every single tiny detail in your life perfect. That’s just not you. You’re not a sad person.”

“But you shouldn’t look at it like that. Even if you do everything perfectly, there are a million other variables out there. Like… Hmm. Let’s look at it like this.” Soonyoung lies down on the floor to be at eye level with Wonwoo and rests his chin in his hands. “Let’s say that our moods exist on a scale of one to ten, right?”

“Okay. One to ten.”

“So this morning, I woke up and I was at about a six. Not great, but okay. Then I went to work and the first thing that happened is this lady came into the store and started screaming at me because her fish died like two days after she bought it. And she was explaining to me exactly what she had done to accommodate her new fish and it was essentially the opposite of everything I had told her. And she demanded a new fish, for free! And my boss said okay, give the lady the fish. Now that fish is going to die, too. That brought me down to a solid zero. There is absolutely nothing that you could have done to prevent that. But, what you did do was call me and ask me to have lunch with you. And you did something that stresses you out, just for me. And you almost did it right. That brings me back up to like, a four. Maybe a four doesn’t sound great to you… but lately, a four is pretty good to me.”

“No, I get it,” Wonwoo says. “A four is basically a ten when you think about it.”

“Absolutely. And you’re right, I’m not a sad person. I’m not sad in this moment. I’m really happy.”

Wonwoo scrunches his noses and reaches out to give Soonyoung’s cheek a light pinch. “I’m glad.”

Soonyoung returns the favor, even though he knows Wonwoo hates it. Especially because he knows Wonwoo hates it.

“Oh, and Soonyoung?”

“Hmm?”

“Me, too. I’m happy, too.”  

Tzuyu bursts out of Mingyu’s bedroom and slides across the hardwood floor in her socks. “Hey, you guys, thanks for having me over! I like it here. You’re nice!”

“You’re just saying that so we’ll add you to the Netflix DJ schedule, aren’t you?” Soonyoung teases.  

Tzuyu gives him a coy smile and joins the two of them on the floor, resting an elbow on Soonyoung’s back so she can support her chin in her hand as she swipes the remote control off of the table and peruses through the various mediocre sitcoms Soonyoung and Wonwoo have been binge watching all summer. Mingyu eventually joins them, grabbing the remote out of Tzuyu’s hand and making the executive decision to elect some cult movie from the 80s as the afternoon’s entertainment. Soonyoung whines at him that he hasn’t lived there long enough to overrule the Netflix DJ, to which Mingyu replies that all great nations are destined to see revolution at one point or another and this is just a ripple in the sea of change, freedom, and the American dream.

There’s something about new faces and new voices that Wonwoo sort of likes, surprisingly. Signs of life. The feeling of someone existing in the room next to you, or a few feet away from you, just enough to make you remember that you aren’t alone.  And he can accept irreversibly changing his life as he knows it for a few minutes of laughing with Soonyoung.

Soonyoung smiles at him out from the headlock in which Tzuyu currently has him trapped as they’re all already arguing over what to watch next, before the opening credits have even finished rolling.

He doesn’t have to say anything for Wonwoo to know that the feeling is mutual.


	3. morbid norwegian folk music

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im learning that this a slow moving story that consists mostly of dialogue!!!!!!!!!! happy wednesday yall i wanna die

Wonwoo is a half a second away from finally falling asleep after hours tossing and turning and stressing himself into a stomachache when he remembers that he forgot to give Mingyu his goddamn apartment key. And if he’s remembering correctly, Mingyu is currently out doing God knows what with Tzuyu and plans to be home God knows when. Fuck. Wonwoo reaches blindly under his blanket and grabs his phone.

`  
To my dearest Soonyoung. Are you awake right now`

`  
No`

`Then how are you texting me!!!  
can you please pleas estay up and let Mingyu in please, I'm dying. I have to open tomorrow!!`

`  
W!o!n!w!o!o!!! i told u to give him his key! But let me guess u....intentionally didn't!`

`  
No I genuinely forgot. Stop screaming at meeeeohhh my God`

`  
Its not screaming if its over text`

`It is screaming. It is aggressive verbiage. `  
`And I can hear you angrily rolling around in your bed from here!!  
`My question remains. Soonyoungie :( ` `

`DON'T u fucking dare SOONYOUNGIE :( me today I will NOT`

`  
I will buy you lunch tomorrowwww `

`Ok. Fine. U have to get me a poke bowl.`  
`And if u forget even one thing I will build a time machine and travel back to this night`  
`And i will say NO Wonwoo im not doing this for u!!!`  
`And you will be so sad...  
` `Soonyoung :( Why! oh Soonyoungie :( you're so mean! I hate Soonyoungie! so much!`

`  
I could never hate soonyoungie :(`

`  
Idk if yr aware but its pretty easy to hate :( :( :( you ): ): ):`

`  
Goodnight, Soonyoungie :( I love you :)`

`Goodnight`

Of course, Wonwoo knows that Soonyoung is actually not capable of being so cold. About ten minutes later, his phone lights up with another text.

`I love you too Wonwoo :(`

Maybe the frowny face was just an accident that Soonyoung doesn’t feel like correcting. Still, it leaves a slightly bad taste in Wonwoo’s mouth. Soonyoung is not a frowny face kind of person. He listens to Soonyoung shuffling around the living room – takes just a second to acknowledge the fact that he has all but memorized the sound of Soonyoung cocooning himself on the couch in the old knit blanket he’s kept since he was a child and flipping through trashy reality TV and late night talk shows. “That’s not immersive, thought provoking media,” is usually what Wonwoo says to this, to which Soonyoung always replies, “It’s immersive and thought provoking if it gets me out of my stupid fucking head for a minute,” and Wonwoo always concedes because that’s fair enough.

Wonwoo’s phone lights up again.

`U know i'm like deadass fucking convinced that Ariana Grande's vocal cords are like the most pliable of silly putty and are scientifically capable of producing any sound that she chooses to make at any pitch w/perfect accuracy adn resonance and i'm in love with her also so please try not to be too hurt by this`

This message is followed by a long wall of stickers and various winky faces. Wonwoo knows he can rest easy when he hears Soonyoung shrieking with laughter at something stupid on TV. There’s the Soonyoung that Wonwoo has been missing so much lately – always in hiding, but always in there somewhere. 

 

 

 

Soonyoung has a pretty well-stocked cupboard full of things to remind him why living with Wonwoo is worth it in the long run. He often draws out of this cupboard liberally when Wonwoo is in one of his moods that just happens to make him the most annoying person on planet earth. That _crushed by the weight of being, unable to cope with the human condition, and a big giant baby_ mood.

Besides the obvious – economic responsibility, the comfort of living with someone who you know as well as you know yourself – there are more nuanced reasons that Soonyoung would probably not ever admit to anyone. He doesn’t even particularly like admitting them to himself.

First, his skinny wrists and the way the bones stick out in a way that’s a little gross. Second, the way he sings to himself all hours of the day, especially when he thinks no one can hear him. Third, he is Wonwoo, and that is reason enough.

If Soonyoung and Wonwoo are just a cheesy young adult novel in motion, then Soonyoung figures it’s a little too early in the narrative to be up way too late, alone in the living room, watching trash TV, and weighing the various particulars of his relationship with his best friend. He always teases that Wonwoo is just so hopelessly bad at handling change in any degree, but not really; Wonwoo just does what he needs to do when all is said and done. It’s Soonyoung who is convinced he can feel ulcers forming in his stomach every time something takes the two of them off of their comfortable, familiar path. Every time something interferes with the life they’ve somehow manage to build together – no matter how shitty and pathetic it looks to everyone around them. Every time something pulls Wonwoo’s attention someplace else. Nowhere in particular, just away from Soonyoung.

It's almost two in the morning when there is an unsteady knocking at the door. Soonyoung stands up and glances through the peephole and sees Mingyu, carrying a knocked out Tzuyu on his back. He lets the two of them in.

“Sorry…” Mingyu says. It seems like he means it. Soonyoung is not as bothered as he probably should be. “She can get a little crazy sometimes. Is it okay if she stays here tonight?” Mingyu slowly walks over to the couch, turns around, and gently lets Tzuyu drop off of his back. She lands on the couch almost gracefully and doesn’t stir a bit.

“Yeah, sure, she can stay,” Soonyoung says, shaking himself out of his daze. Something about watching someone else being taken care of really makes his head hurt lately. Weird. “She’s welcome here anytime.” He creeps over to the coat closet and pulls a spare blanket off of the top shelf, walks over to where Tzuyu is sleeping peacefully, and drapes it over her. She curls up underneath the blanket comfortably. Cute.

“Hey,” Mingyu says, head tilted.

“Hmm?”

“You look stressed.”

“This is just how I look.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s not true. I’m no expert, but Tzuyu told me that Wonwoo told her that lately you don’t feel well.”

Soonyoung lets out a light sigh and shakes his head. This conversation is already at a level that he is not cool with. “Of course,” he says. “He would. That’s really what he thinks. Unfortunately, Wonwoo knows nothing about anything.”

“Do you need to t—”

“Hmmmmm no, not tonight,” Soonyoung interjects. “It’s very late. Goodnight, Mingyu.” He walks briskly in the direction of his room and shuts the door behind him. It’s not going to happen this way! He’s not ready for this. What’s he going to say anyway, huh? _I don’t know how I feel, but I want everyone to understand me, and I want to be understood without saying a damn word!_ That’s not the way it works. Or, _Wonwoo can hardly take care of himself, what’s going to happen if I need him to take care of me? What if he can’t handle it?_ But again, that’s not how it works. You don’t give only so you can take. You don’t take care of someone just in case you need to be taken care of one day. The point of all of this is to be selfless and anything Soonyoung gets in return is just a cool perk.

He stands in complete silence for exactly three minutes. He knows this because he is staring blankly at his phone. This is not okay.

“Fine,” he says. “Fine, I’ll do this. I’ll do this because I’m talking to myself at three in the morning and this is not okay.”

He smooths over his hair. Mental duress is no excuse to be sloppy. Careful not to wake Tzuyu, Soonyoung quietly opens his bedroom door and creeps over to Mingyu’s room, inviting himself in.

“Yes?” Mingyu says. He’s sitting on his bed – a mattress on the floor beside an unassembled bed frame. The rest of the room is in similar disarray, but somehow manages to feel comfortable nonetheless. That’s what Tzuyu had spent the evening doing before she had demanded Mingyu take her out somewhere, trying to make the space as livable as possible since the two of them were too exhausted to do anything beyond just moving in everything.

“You know, I’m a great guy,” Soonyoung says. “Wonwoo’s a great guy. Don’t misunderstand any of this. You caught us at a bad time.”

Mingyu stares at Soonyoung for a moment, blinks, and then says, “I can see that. Honestly. That’s life, Soonyoung. Just catching people at a bad time.”

“You’re right,” Soonyoung says. He sits down on the floor and crosses his legs. “I bet one day we’ll catch you at a bad time.”

“It’s more likely than you think.”

Soonyoung is adjusting to the idea that Mingyu is an actual person. In the cheesy young adult novel of his life, Mingyu is a character who seems like he has everything together but probably actually doesn’t. Maybe he’s got a titanium enforced backbone or maybe he’s just a really nice guy. But whatever it is, there’s got to be something exceptional pulling Mingyu through the day. People can’t just be like this for no reason – in good spirits, nice, cheerful, whatever.

“You’re pretty cool,” Soonyoung says.

Mingyu laughs nervously. “I was afraid you guys were going to hate me, honestly,” he admits. He’s smiling bashfully, looking at Soonyoung as if he’s somehow unworthy of Soonyoung’s holy approval. Soonyoung wants to scream and cry, no! It’s not that way! It’s Soonyoung who is unworthy! Really, he’s just a walking pile of shit!

“We have this bad habit of always making people think that.”

“You guys have known each other for a long time?” Mingyu asks. His phone is buzzing aggressively. He glances at the screen and whispers, mostly to himself, “Why is she awake? And why the fuck is she texting me when she’s in literally the next room? She’s a mess.”

Soonyoung can’t help but laugh at this, startling Mingyu at the sound of his ugly guffawing. “Wonwoo… does the same shit,” he says. “He does this shit constantly, we’re always like fifteen feet away from each other at the most, and this is the shit he does. I love that about him. And yeah, to answer your question. A long time.”

“So what’s up with that? You’re not, like…?”

Soonyoung makes a face. Mingyu also makes a face. They stay like this for a while.

“Not that I know of,” Soonyoung finally says, because he’s pretty sure what Mingyu is asking.

“But there’s a chance.”

“Probably not.”

Mingyu hums in response and Soonyoung has no idea what to make of that. Is this a displeased hum? A content hum? A confused hum? What does it mean?

“Tzuyu was wondering,” Mingyu says. “Don’t give me that look! God is my witness, Tzuyu was seriously wondering. She likes mopey guys. She thinks Wonwoo is _enigmatic._ ”

“What you see is what you get with that guy, honestly. All you need to know about Wonwoo is that his life is a perpetual Tears for Fears song. It didn’t used to be that way, but now it is and we all just have to like it. Now, I can’t exactly say the same for myself. I am very enigmatic and complex. I’m more like, perpetual morbid Norwegian folk music.”

“I like morbid Norwegian folk music,” Mingyu says after a contemplative silence.

Soonyoung “pshaws” at this and gives Mingyu a dismissive hand wave. His heart suddenly feels like it’s being squeezed into a pile of mush in his chest when he remembers the time, and that he’s working tomorrow, and that it’s going to be the worst day of his life because every day is the worst day of his life.

Mingyu seems to notice. “Go to bed, Soonyoung, it’s late.” There’s something warm about his tone, this weird sweetness that Soonyoung had never expected Mingyu to possess. He bids Mingyu goodnight and retreats back to his bedroom, crossing paths with a very exhausted and still slightly drunk Tzuyu along the way. She smiles at him and gives him a pat on the cheek and then turns her attention to Mingyu.

“Mingyu,” she whines, “Daddy called and said he wants to talk to you!” The rest of the conversation is muffled as she shuts the door behind her.

Soonyoung has to stop and rewind that moment in his head at least sixty times before he can comprehend the words he just heard. The pieces will not form a cohesive picture no matter how hard he tries.

Whatever. He is fucking exhausted. He’ll have to save this one for another day.

 

 

 

Wonwoo never asks for much. He mostly just wants to be able to go into his apartment on a hot summer day with minimal difficulty. However, he is realizing several hours too late, that his bag, and thus his keys, are currently in the backseat of Jeonghan’s car, and Jeonghan is probably in some distant oblivion.

He tries to call Jeonghan. No answer. Voicemail disabled. This guy is just an aloof, bizarre caricature of himself at this point.

He texts him a couple of times just for good measure but what’s the fucking point. Jeonghan can will himself off of this plane of existence whenever he wants and Wonwoo is pretty sure texts cannot reach the Other Side. 

Well, this is it, he figures. He is slowly going to bake to death. And Soonyoung is going to have to find his body like this and will be so terribly heartbroken. And he will be dead having never made his parents proud in the slightest. And his little brother will tell everyone what a loser he was at the funeral. And—

“Hey,” Mingyu says.

“Hey,” Wonwoo says, because he is pretty sure he is half dead and dreaming, and he only knows how to entertain normal conversations in his dreams.

“I guess you’re locked out.”

“Yeah.”

Wonwoo opens his eyes, instinctively moves his hand to shield them from the sun but realizes that there is no need to as Mingyu is graciously keeping him adequately shaded.

“Do you wanna go, like… sit in my car?” Mingyu offers. No, Wonwoo does not. But now is not the time to be ornery.

“Sure.”

The short walk from their building to the parking space - the one that rightfully belongs to their apartment but hasn't been used since Jihoon moved out as neither Wonwoo nor Soonyoung have their own car - has Wonwoo wishing for death about halfway through, but the car is a welcome escape from the heat, since Mingyu is generous with the air conditioning. Wonwoo reclines his seat back as far as it will allow and rests his feet on the dashboard. There’s not a car on planet earth that in which he is not able to make himself completely at home.

“I asked our weed guy for a ride to my summer class today,” Wonwoo says.

“You talk to your weed guy about things that aren’t weed?” Mingyu asks.

“Sometimes. Look, shut up, I have to talk to someone when Soonyoung isn’t around.”

“So you talk to—”

“Yes, yes, I talk to our weed guy! His name is Jeonghan and he scares me. But he has a car.”

“You know,” Mingyu says, “you could have just asked me for a ride to class.”

“I didn’t know that! I don’t even know you. I know Jeonghan the Weed Guy better than I know you, so if it’s life and death, and I need someone to take me to the hospital immediately, I’m probably going to ask Jeonghan. But the thing is, he took off with my bag, which has not only my key in it, but also your key, and I can’t get in touch with him to see if he can drop it off. And I have so much homework to do. So I’m exceptionally miserable right now.”

Mingyu makes this stupid face at Wonwoo, and the only reason Wonwoo thinks it’s a stupid face is because he doesn’t yet know Mingyu well enough to discern what any of his faces mean. Maybe it’s an okay face. A sympathetic face. Mingyu reclines his seat as well and puts his arm over his eyes to block out the sunlight.

“Wonwoo,” he says. “Can I tell you something?”

“I guess,” Wonwoo says. He turns slightly on his side to face more in Mingyu’s direction and props his head up in his hand.

“You’d be kind of cute if you just, you know…” Mingyu trails off. No, Wonwoo doesn’t know. “If you just…” He moves his hand in a steady horizontal line. “Found a balance. Yeah. That’s it.”

“Well, luckily, my entire life doesn’t revolve around doing what you think I should do in order to be cute,” Wonwoo says, because he’s never known how to take a compliment. And he’s not even sure if this counts as a compliment. As if Mingyu’s the first ever person to tell Wonwoo that he would be cute, if.

“Soonyoung was telling me that you didn’t used to be like this? But now your life is like… let’s see, how did he describe it? A perpetual Tears for Fears song.”

Wonwoo doesn’t know what to say because this is actually true, except his life is a perpetual Echo & the Bunnymen song, not Tears for Fears. Soonyoung should know better.

So Wonwoo doesn’t say anything at all, that’ll show Mingyu – as usual, he is blown away by his own sophisticated social finesse.  

But Mingyu is pretty content as well to let the conversation rest. He uncovers his eyes, squints at Wonwoo and gives him a stupid smile. Wonwoo kind of smiles back. It’s the polite thing to do.

Mingyu’s phone rings before either of them can get another word in. Wonwoo can see the word MOM on the screen.

“Yeah? … Hi, Mom… Oh. That’s nice and all, but I have something to tell you… Her birthday was actually last month.”

Mingyu is visibly startled by his mother’s sudden yelling on the other end of the call. Wonwoo can almost make out what she’s saying. Something about lies, and Mingyu always taking sides, and no one ever appreciates her.

“Why the fuck would I lie to you about that! It’s not about picking siiiides, Mom, it’s about – okay. Okay. Okay! I don’t know where she is today. … I don’t know why she’s not answering her fucking phooone. You’re giving me an ulcer. Bye, I love you. I said I love you! Bye!”

Mingyu ends the call with several aggressive jabs at the screen. He looks at Wonwoo in a manner that very distinctly says, “I do not wish to talk about this with you or with anyone right now or ever” and Wonwoo can respect that. 

Wonwoo hears a gentle tap on the window behind him. He glances over his shoulder and sees Soonyoung, forehead pressed against the window, cheeks all red from the heat.

“Key,” he says.

“What?”

“KEY,” he repeats, enraged. 

“It’s in my bag! In Jeonghan’s car!”

Soonyoung opens the door. “Well, come on, I’m home so there’s no point in you guys sitting outside anymore. God. Who knows when the fuck we’re going to see Jeonghan again. And now neither of you have keys.”

“I know!” Wonwoo cries. The entire contents of his garbage life are currently in the backseat of Jeonghan’s car which also doubles as a ferry for the dearly departed to cross the River Styx. Wonwoo will never see his bag again.

“He’s probably going to sell everything.”

“Wonwoo... what the fuck do you have in that bag that’s actually of value?” Mingyu asks. Ah, there it is. That uninviting edge Wonwoo had almost started missing. Soonyoung laughs a little. They would get chummy in record time, Wonwoo figures. People just tend to like Soonyoung.

They turn the corner of their building and Wonwoo is convinced he can feel a cold chill in the air. Surely, he must be imagining things considering it’s about a thousand degrees. “My graphing calculator, for one. He's going to sell my fucking graphing calculator I just know it,” he says. “WAIT.”

Wonwoo’s bag is propped gently against the front door. Sometime in the last two seconds, Jeonghan had stopped by their apartment and then promptly disappeared off the fucking face of the planet. Wonwoo opens it and inspects the contents. Everything is as he left it.

“Jeonghan can be in at least five places at once,” Soonyoung surmises quietly. 

Wonwoo unzips one of the side pockets. “Heads up,” he says, tossing the new key to Mingyu.

Mingyu catches it and stares at it for a few seconds. “Cool,” he says.

“So it’s official,” Soonyoung singsongs, tickling Mingyu’s side.

“Not official enough for you to ever fucking tickle me,” Mingyu returns, aggressively tickling Soonyoung back.

Soonyoung is cackling as he hops away from Mingyu, unlocking the apartment and swinging the door open.

“Oh, home! Sweet h—” He pauses. This is probably his mood dropping from about a five to a negative thirty. “Fuck. Fuck, it literally feels fucking terrible in here. I’m over it. I’m over it! We’re moving right now.”  

“Soonyoung, Soonyoung,” Wonwoo says sweetly, wrapping Soonyoung in an unwelcome hug. Soonyoung squirms away and whines that it’s too hot for them to be more than any closer than five feet to each other. Starting today, this is the rule for the remainder of the summer. “Remember I’m buying you dinner!”

Soonyoung is assuaged. Their lease will live to see another day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [wonwoo's psyche according to soonyoung.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFsHSHE-iJQ) [wonwoo's psyche according to wonwoo.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LWz0JC7afNQ) [soonyoung's psyche according to soonyoung (he is mostly kidding).](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q1XimrdgoPY)


	4. low impact

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope y'all like MORE BACKSTORY and VAGUE RELATIONSHIPssssHAAAAAAA

Soonyoung thinks if he just slows down then he’ll definitely be able to navigate the tiny plastic straw into the juice box. Thing is, he’s already moving in trouble slow motion because he’s stoned as shit and if he goes any slower, he might die.

Take aim. Focus. Stab. Stab.

Fuck!

Soonyoung isn’t afraid to cry. He’s a grown person, perfectly in tune with his feelings and he really wants some god damn juice.

And furthermore, Soonyoung is a good person, and totally deserves to be employee of the month at work, but why does his entire life revolve around having his stupid picture hanging on the wall of the amoral pet shop where he regrettably spends most of his miserable hours? Today has been such a remarkably disappointing day that Soonyoung couldn’t even wait for Wonwoo to get home before he started going off the deep end.

“Oh my fucking God my life is a shitfest! Every day that I am alive is more painful than the last!” Soonyoung thinks he says, but he isn’t sure.

He stares at his juice box and he weeps.

The front door opens. Soonyoung cries, “Wonwoooo” and then lets out a deathly sob when he realizes that it’s not Wonwoo.

“Soonyoung~ You should really start locking the door. Sorry I’m not Wonwoo. And why does it smell – are you – aww, Soonyoung, here! Let me help you!”

“I can’t handle emotional intimacy,” Soonyoung cries.

“Ohhh,” Tzuyu says in a way that makes her sound like Soonyoung’s mom. What the fuck, he can’t handle that! She takes the straw from his hand and pierces it into the juice box. “There, there, it’s okay!”

“You’re so good, I don’t deserve this.”

“I opened your juice box like a decent person. Can I ask you something?” Tzuyu sits down at the kitchen table across from Soonyoung and folds her hands together. “Are you the reason it always smells like weed in here?”

Soonyoung nods shamefully.

“Not Wonwoo?”

“It’s me. Always. I’m a criminal. Wonwoo smokes with Jeonghan lately. And I’m just a sad sack of shit who smokes alone. And maybe I want Wonwoo to smoke with me?! But he doesn’t. He likes Jeonghan so much now. This is why… I will never, ever be employee of the month.”

“Awww, haha! Soonyoung! How cute, you’re jealous! I’m sure Wonwoo has his reasons for doing what he does. And I’m sure you’ll be employee of the month next time!”

Soonyoung wants to tell Tzuyu that one day when she’s older she’ll better understand the pain of being human. But for now she should cherish her youthful optimism before reality gives her a cold smack right in the fucking face. He kind of gets that sentiment out, he thinks, because Tzuyu tilts her head at him all prettily and tells him that life isn’t so bad.

“I wish I could believe you!” Soonyoung says. “I wish that were true.”

Tzuyu reaches out and pinches Soonyoung’s cheek. “You’re odd, you know? You seem all happy. But you’re not. Aaand Wonwoo seems unhappy… but I think he’s actually okay. At first I was worried about him, but now I’m worried about you.”

“I want to be a baby again. I was happy. I don’t know what Wonwoo’s deal is. He’s so fucking weird, I can’t stand him sometimes.”

“Don’t we all, but we can’t! So we have to try and be happy adults. And you love Wonwoo. You two are best friends!”

“We’re best friends. Wonwoo is my best friend?! Wait. Wonwoo is literally my best friend, what the fuck. Oh my God. What stroke of luck? What cosmic reward? I love him. Oh fuck I love Wonwoo so much. This is terrible.” Soonyoung remembers his juice box. He takes a sip. It’s delicious. “This was a good talk,” he says.

Tzuyu nods in agreement. “Soonyoung, sometimes you have to grab life by the horns and then gut it! Or at least I think that’s what my dad told me once. Anyway, I believe in you!”

“Thank you. I believe in you, too. Don’t get caught up with bad people. Like Jeonghan. Or. Wonwoo.”

“Okay, okay,” Tzuyu says. “I promise you I’ll try very hard.”

“You patronize this old man. I’m sorry Mingyu isn’t here and you are stuck talking to me.”

“Ohh, it’s fine! I was dropping by because I have nowhere else to be today. Anyway, you look like need someone to talk to!”

“SOONYOUNG.” Wonwoo’s voice violently cuts into the conversation with very little regard for context or mood or vibe, but hey, that’s Wonwoo. This is what Soonyoung had been waiting for all afternoon yet now he is inexplicably annoyed out of his mind and it is bringing him back down to earth at a pace that he is not quite comfortable with. Again, that's Wonwoo. 

“What?”

“We need to go to my room immediately. Hi Tzuyu! There is important shit happening right now at this moment.”

“Again, what?” Soonyoung asks. He watches Wonwoo kick off his shoes in the middle of the living room floor and not even put them on the shoe rack that the two of them spent nearly three hours assembling. (It should not have taken three hours, but that’s not even the point, the point is that Wonwoo is a godless heathen.)

Wonwoo runs to the kitchen and grabs both Soonyoung and Tzuyu by the hand, dragging them to their feet and into his bedroom. “It’s time for The Jeonghan And Joshua Dysfunction Junction Power Hour! I could hear them screaming at each other all the way from the parking lot.”

“Oh shit,” Soonyoung whispers, making himself comfortable in Wonwoo’s unmade bed. His favorite show has finally started its new season. He knows it’s not nice to be this invested in two people he cares for a decent amount never being able to come to healthy conclusions to their plethora of interpersonal problems, but it makes for decent and cathartic entertainment on bad days. The screaming at each other is a new thing, Soonyoung recalls. It never used to be this bad before.

Tzuyu sits down beside Soonyoung. “Jeonghan? And Joshua?” she asks.

Wonwoo holds his finger to his lips and sits with ear pressed against the wall. “Shh, shh, just listen.”

“ _And the thing is, it’s not just a few weeks. Or a few months. It’s been years. Literally years that I've spent nearly every waking moment of my life worried about you. Scared that if I leave you alone for more than a day then you’re going to just let yourself rot in this shithole of an apartment by yourself._ ”

“ _Yeah, but Joshua? I never asked you to do any of this shit for me. You just do it. You do it whether I want you to or not and then you resent me for it!”_

“ _Well of course you want me to, Jeonghan, or maybe you have zero recollection of the countless voicemails you leave me while I’m at work, begging me to stop leaving you alone - when, I should mention, me fulfilling my daily responsibilities like an adult is hardly as malicious as you like to pretend it is.  Anyway, I guess it’s actually safe to say that you genuinely do have zero recollection since you’ve not done anything without some degree of impaired judgment since we graduated high school._ ”

“ _Ooofuckingkay, here we go again! Look,_ _I’m not really not interested in_ —”

“ _Not interested? In working any of this out? Is that what you’re going to say? I’m done with this. All of this. I’m not your mother, and I’m not taking care of you anymore_.”

“Ouch,” Wonwoo says quietly.

Tzuyu shakes Soonyoung’s shoulder. “What’s wrong with them? Are they breaking up?”

Soonyoung snorts. “They’re not dating. They’ve never dated before, they’re just like this lately... Wonwoo, what are you thinking about? Because I’m saying no right now.”

Wonwoo looks perturbed.

“Oh come on,” Soonyoung says. “You’re not gonna go say something, are you? To Joshua?”

“Well…!” Wonwoo says, looking unsure of himself. “I don’t think he’s being fair!”

“Yeah, but imagine how stressful this is for him? He’s been doing this for years, just like he said. While Jeonghan only gets worse and worse. And it’s almost like it’s on purpose? It’s not like I don’t understand, but after a point, you have no one to blame but yourself when you’re in that situation.”

“Soonyoung… come on,” Wonwoo says.

“Anyway, it’s not our business until one of them crashes through your bedroom wall. We can’t let them know we sit around and listen to their arguments, that’s weird and it’s not right. You know Joshua will be back in like two days, with a week’s worth of meals and some spending money and Klonopin he bought off Seungcheol.”

“Yeah, but what about during those two days? With people like that you can’t—just—ugh, forget it. Whatever.”

“Why,” Soonyoung says, because better to ask this question while he’s high and amiable and not wait until later when he’s sober and miserable, “are you always like this about Jeonghan?”

“Well—because! Fuck, Soonyoung, you can be such a dick sometimes!”

“Okay, that’s not even fair! I’m not being a dick; I’m just trying to be considerate of both sides of this situation. We’ve been listening to their gradual downward spiral since we moved into this apartment and you’re not even been able muster up a shred of sympathy for Joshua?”

“I do get where Joshua is coming from is the thing, but it bothers me that you can’t seem to remember why Jeonghan is even like this to begin with?” Wonwoo talks with an impressive amount of restraint, like he wants to blow up but he’s actively making the decision not to. Soonyoung feels just as annoyed as he would if Wonwoo were to actually blow up right now, because it’s the principle of the matter. That Wonwoo even feels he has to the right to be frustrated enough to blow up in the first place.

Tzuyu’s eyes widen and she looks back and forth between Soonyoung and Wonwoo like a child watching their parents argue. “I’m sure,” she says carefully, “that both Joshua and Jeonghan have their reasons for lashing out at each other. I’m sure both of you have your reasons for feeling the way you do.”

Soonyoung frowns and hugs his knees to his chest. Of course Tzuyu is right. Of course Wonwoo is right. Of course life isn’t so simple that they can’t all be right to some extent – including Joshua and Jeonghan, who have finally parted as evidenced by the silence on the other side of the wall.

Wonwoo tries to says something and then stops. He opts for storming out of his room instead.

“It must be nice,” Soonyoung calls after him, “to literally be the fucking paragon of empathy!”

“And it must be nice,” Wonwoo calls back, and then he pauses because he clearly has nothing. “Fuck!” He slams the front door, waits a second, opens it and sticks his head back in the apartment. “It must be nice to be completely unaffected by something that fucked up nearly everybody in your social circle to some degree.”

Then he slams the door again, so hard that Soonyoung can hear shit falling off of the walls in the living room. He looks at Tzuyu. She looks back at him, expression unmoving. He appreciates how hard she is trying for him today.

And for that he figures he owes her at least an explanation. Some backstory would probably be helpful. He sighs and gears up to recount his least favorite story from his pool of life experiences. This is going to fucking suck.

 

 

 

The thing is that Wonwoo isn’t the paragon of empathy. He’s not even a semi-decent human – he’s just a guy who has good intentions and rarely ever sees them through. He knows that what he should do is go check on Jeonghan, see if he’s okay, ask if he wants to talk it out. But what he does instead is text Mingyu.

`  
Hey. dinner?`

`  
Sure. Just me and you?`

`  
Just me and you. cool?`

`  
Unexpected but cool. Wait by the basketball court. I'll be there in a minute.`

So Wonwoo waits. He feels bad. He feels bad for being annoyed at Soonyoung. He feels bad for not checking up on Jeonghan – even though he’s not sure he’s really obligated to feel bad about that? Sure, they hang sometimes. They’ve technically known each other for years. But he wouldn’t exactly refer to Jeonghan as his friend. Just some loser he smokes with. Then sometimes they get uncomfortably emotionally intimate and Wonwoo feels weird, goes home, and thinks about it for the rest of the night.

Wonwoo shields his eyes from the sun and squints at Mingyu’s car as it slows to a stop in front of him. The window rolls down. Mingyu waits for him to speak.

“Thanks,” is all he can really manage. Mingyu shrugs and gestures for him to get in.

“So, Wonwoo, what’s going on in that beautiful but emotionally incompetent head of yours today?”

Wonwoo groans. He’s anxiously locking and unlocking his phone, waiting for an apology text from Soonyoung that he doesn’t even deserve, because there’s no reason that either of them should really have to apologize for anything. “Soonyoung and I – we’re pretty much always on the same page. But sometimes we aren’t.”

“That’s normal,” Mingyu says. He pulls the aux cord out of his own phone and tosses it to Wonwoo. “Here, put on your morbid new wave garbage. Feel better.”

Wonwoo is unnecessarily touched by this gesture of goodwill. He plugs the cord into his phone and pulls up one of the many playlists consisting of the same sadsack synth shit over and over again he’s put together while stoned out of his mind.

“Wonwoo. Listen to me. You’re bound to disagree with him every once in a while. You are two totally different people. And even people who have been literally married for, like, fifty years are going to disagree on things. It doesn’t mean that he’s going to suddenly stop wanting to suck your dick forever.”

“It’s not just that,” Wonwoo says, mindlessly hitting the “next” button on all of his music because he can’t make a concrete decision to save his life, even if it’s just what song to listen to in the car. “It’s that when we disagree on this particular subject, it comes from a part of him that I don’t appreciate. Like, a very jealous and slightly bitter part of Soonyoung that I wish didn’t exist.”

“Ohhh,” Mingyu says, and Wonwoo is surprised to hear a shift in his tone. Like he’s not going to keep pushing it and fighting with Wonwoo the way people always try to do whenever it comes to his relationship with Soonyoung. Like everyone else always knows their relationship better than they know it themselves.

“It’s hard. You know. To talk about some things. But Jeonghan—”

“Weed Guy?”

“Yes. Weed Guy. We went to high school together. He was always marginally fucked up after his dad died. We weren’t really that close, but we talked sometimes. My family moved about a year after that happened, so I switched schools and we didn’t really keep in touch. But I had this friend – she really liked him a lot. And then when I was, I think… twenty? It’s tough to keep track of time. Uh. Anyway, when I was twenty, she died. And I guess he took it really hard.”

Mingyu takes his eyes off of the road for a second, just enough to look at Wonwoo and let him know that he’s really listening. He doesn’t say anything, though, just tightens his grip around the steering wheel.

“I knew that they spent a lot of time together after I moved, but it wasn’t until we started living in our apartment that I really understood. So I guess I feel bad for him.”

“Of course,” Mingyu says. “Hey… Wonwoo, I’m really sorry about your friend.”

“It’s… I mean. I can’t say it’s fine. It just is what it is. I miss her a lot. And I can’t fault Soonyoung for anything. He thinks about her sometimes. He feels sad. But I guess – the thing with people like me… or like Jeonghan… is that we literally tie a knot of ourselves with other people. But it’s always just one person. There’s no solution to life after that person dies. You’re just some ugly frayed rope unless you find another person. And then Soonyoung – he didn’t even have much a choice, did he?”

“You don’t feel like Soonyoung has done that same thing with you?” They’re just driving around in pointless circles at this point, no thought to stopping anywhere and getting dinner as they had originally planned. Maybe that was what Wonwoo had really wanted all along.

“I guess. But sometimes… I wonder if Soonyoung is in love with me? And it’s just different. When you’re in love with a person.”

“Hey,” Mingyu says. “Open the glove compartment.”

Wonwoo obliges. There is a flask inside. “Oh thank God,” he whispers. He opens it and takes a drink. It’s bitter and it burns, but it’s something.

“You think Soonyoung is in love with you?”

Wonwoo shrugs. “Sometimes. But he wouldn’t even know if he was. He’s… really stupid, you know?” He laughs lightly, takes another drink. “Or maybe that’s me. Ah... We’re always just sitting around and projecting shit on to each other. Sometimes I don’t know where I end and he begins.”

The flask is empty now. After a few more minutes of riding around town in silence, Wonwoo feels adequately buzzed. He turns to look at Mingyu.

“You wanna go home?” Mingyu asks. He’s smiling, like he actually knows shit about anything. But Wonwoo figures maybe Mingyu is a little brighter than he has previously given him credit for. 

“Yeah,” Wonwoo says.

“I’ll take you home.”

“It’s weird,” Wonwoo says. “You moved in, like two weeks ago and I’m telling you things I would honestly rather die than share with another person.”

“It’s no big deal,” Mingyu says. “We’re roommates. This is low impact socialization. Anyway… I don’t mind. Talking to you. Or whatever.” There’s a lot that Wonwoo doesn’t notice in that moment. The subtle curve of Mingyu’s frown. The way he can’t stop glancing at Wonwoo out of the corner of his eye. It's better that way. 

Once they arrive back at the apartment, it pretty much goes the way Wonwoo is expecting, because Soonyoung is a creature of emotional habit. Wonwoo opens his bedroom door and Soonyoung is napping peacefully in his bed. Wonwoo gently lifts the covers and climbs under, nudges Soonyoung, and softly tells him to wake up.

“You always do this when we fight,” he says.

“What?” Soonyoung asks, rubbing his eyes.

“Fall asleep in my bed. Wait for me to come home.”

“Yeah,” Soonyoung says. “I guess I do.”

“I talked to Mingyu. Hashed it all out. And I’m sorry.”

“No, no. I’m sorry, I really was being a dick. For no reason. And it’s disrespectful of me to lose my patience when you’re just worried about someone who misses the same person you miss.”

“Never again?” Wonwoo asks. He holds up his pinky.

Soonyoung laughs and says that’s for five-year-olds, but he hooks his own pinky with Wonwoo’s anyway and pulls so hard that it hurts a little.

“Never again,” he says.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> btw follow me on twitter @JEONGGUKMETA ???!!!


End file.
